Do Teachers Have Favorites And Why

Teachers are social creatures like everybody else. They spend most of the day with students, so it’s no surprise some students become favorites, in their own class or elsewhere in the school.

That’s normal in any workplace. What makes teaching different is responsibility: a teacher has to be fair to every student, whatever their personal feelings. This guide covers why teachers have favorites, the line between a favorite and favoritism, the harm favoritism does, and what to do about it.

Do Teachers Have Favorites

Yes. It varies by teacher, but students who work hard, take part, ask good questions, are kind to classmates, share the teacher’s interest in the subject or bring a sense of humor to class are the ones most often named as favorites.

Teachers also get to know their students well. Part of the job is understanding each student’s strengths, struggles and what’s going on in their life, and that closeness makes it natural to grow fond of some of them.

A favorite vs favoritism

Having a favorite is a feeling. Favoritism is behavior: treating some students better in ways that matter. The two are easy to confuse from the outside, so it helps to separate them:

Showing favoritism can hurt the favored student, the rest of the class and the teacher. Teachers are role models, and students notice quickly when the rules seem to apply to some of them but not others.

Signs a teacher has favorites

• The same students are always called on, chosen as helpers or given special jobs.
• Some students get away with talking, lateness or missed work that others are punished for.
• Feedback is warmer, longer or more encouraging for some students on similar work.
• Extra chances, such as retakes or extensions, are offered quietly to a few.
• Inside jokes or personal conversations with a small group during class.

One of these on its own usually means little. A teacher might call on a student more because they know the answer helps the lesson. A consistent pattern across weeks is what suggests favoritism.

Why Do Teachers Have Favorites

Parents and children have argued for generations about whether parents have favorites. Most parents say they don’t, and the truth is rarely that simple. The same goes for teachers: most say they treat every student equally, and most try to, but they’re human.

The key point is that a teacher having favorites doesn’t mean they practice favoritism. Certain qualities make some students easier to like, and these are the ones that come up most often.

Hardworking

Many teachers especially appreciate students who put in effort. Some concepts are hard, and students learn at different speeds; the ones who keep trying, ask for an explanation or come for extra help stand out. Our guide to writing a teacher appreciation letter shows how much that effort can mean to a teacher.

Attentiveness

Teachers put a lot of work into their lessons, so students who listen, follow along and respond make the job rewarding. In a class where many students are distracted or disruptive, a teacher may naturally gravitate toward the few who are engaged. It’s usually a response to who is responding to the teaching rather than a deliberate choice.

Kind Students

A student who is kind to classmates, such as including someone left out or standing up for a student being picked on, often earns a teacher’s respect. Teachers notice those moments even when they say nothing about them.

Respectful

Students are expected to be respectful to teachers, and most teachers appreciate students who are polite: greeting them, using the name they prefer to be called, listening when others speak. Because some students can be rude, a consistently respectful one stands out. Our guide to how to address teachers covers the usual conventions.

Interest In Teacher

Teachers may warm to students who show interest in the subject they love, or who chat with them about their interests. Friendly interest is fine; students and teachers both need to keep it within professional boundaries, which our guide to whether teachers and students can be friends explains.

Family Relationship

Teachers who work in the community where they live often know some students’ families. An existing relationship can make a student feel familiar from day one. It also makes it more important for the teacher to be visibly fair.

Negative Effects Of Teacher Favoritism

Favoritism affects more than the students who aren’t favored. These are the most common effects.

Inequality Affects Students Success

When some students get more attention, feedback or opportunities, others get less. Over time that can show up in grades and confidence. The favored student can lose out too, if they get used to easier treatment that won’t follow them to the next class.

Bullying

Students seen as the “teacher’s pet” can be resented or picked on by classmates. Favoritism can make the favored student’s life harder.

Teacher Reputation

Students talk. A teacher known for having favorites can lose the trust of the rest of the class, and the reputation can follow them to future classes and to parents.

Respect

When rules and rewards seem to depend on who you are, students stop respecting them. Classroom management gets harder because consequences feel unfair.

Negative Attitude

Students who are never favored may decide the teacher thinks less of them, especially if the favorites are always the highest achievers. Some withdraw; others act out. Our guide to whether teachers give bad grades to students they don’t like looks at that worry.

Entitlement

Students who are consistently favored can come to expect special treatment from other teachers and at home. When it doesn’t come, the adjustment can be hard.

How To Deal With Teacher Favoritism

What to do depends on whether you’re a student or a parent, and whether the favoritism is an annoyance or is affecting grades and opportunities.

Understand The Relationship

Start by working out what’s going on. Sometimes there’s an explanation, such as the teacher knowing a student’s family or a student needing extra support for a reason others can’t see. A parent can ask their child neutral questions, such as what happens when that student talks in class, to get a clearer picture.

Keep A Record

Write down specific examples with dates: who was treated differently, how, and what happened to others in the same situation. Specific examples are far more useful than “she always picks her favorites.”

Confronting Teacher

Talking to the teacher directly, and privately, is usually the best first step. Keep it about what happened rather than motives: “I noticed I wasn’t allowed a retake when two other students were. Can you explain the policy?” Many teachers don’t realize how their behavior looks and will appreciate hearing it calmly.

Talk To A Counselor Or Administrator

If talking to the teacher doesn’t help, or the student doesn’t feel safe raising it, take your record to a school counselor, department head or administrator. A parent can ask for the meeting. Most schools have a process for concerns about a teacher.

If It Affects Grades

If favoritism seems to be affecting a grade, compare the work against the rubric or assignment instructions and ask for the grade to be reviewed. Most schools have a grade appeal process. Our guide to whether teachers bump up grades explains how grade changes usually work.

Are Teachers Allowed To Have Favorites

Teachers are allowed to like some students more than others; no rule can govern feelings, and it’s impossible to like every student equally. What teachers aren’t allowed to do is act on it unfairly.

The National Education Association’s Code of Ethics of the Education Profession says the educator “shall not on the basis of race, color, creed, sex, national origin, marital status, political or religious beliefs, family, social or cultural background, or sexual orientation, unfairly” exclude any student from a program, deny benefits to any student, or grant any advantage to any student (NEA).

Some favoritism is also illegal. The U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights enforces federal laws that guarantee students access to education free from discrimination based on race, color, national origin, sex, disability and age (Office for Civil Rights). Favoring or disfavoring students on those grounds is a civil rights matter as well as a fairness complaint. Beyond that, school and district policies, and conduct rules such as those on gifts and bribes, set the specifics.

Conclusion

It’s almost inevitable that teachers will have favorite students. What matters is that they don’t show favoritism: the same rules, standards and chances for everyone. If favoritism is affecting a student, a calm conversation with the teacher, backed by specific examples, is the place to start.

Frequently asked questions

Do all teachers have favorites?

Most teachers like some students more than others, because they’re human. Many work hard not to let it show. Having a favorite is normal; treating that student better in grades, discipline or opportunities is favoritism.

Can a teacher get fired for favoritism?

Favoritism on its own rarely leads to dismissal, but it can lead to discipline when it becomes unfair grading, a conflict of interest or a personal relationship that breaks school rules. Treating students differently because of race, color, national origin, sex, disability or age can break federal civil rights law. School and district policies set the specifics.

What are the signs a teacher has favorites?

Common signs are the same few students always being called on, chosen for jobs or let off for things others are punished for, and visibly warmer treatment. One sign on its own usually means little; a consistent pattern is worth noting.

Do professors have favorite students?

Many do, often students who come to office hours, engage with the material or do strong work. College grading is usually more anonymous and rubric-based, so favoritism tends to show up in recommendations and opportunities rather than grades.

How do I become my teacher’s favorite?

There is no trick, and trying too hard tends to backfire. The qualities teachers appreciate are ordinary ones: paying attention, doing the work, asking good questions and being kind to classmates.

What should I do if a teacher’s favoritism is affecting my grade?

Keep a record of specific examples, compare your work against the rubric, and ask the teacher to go over the grade with you. If that doesn’t resolve it, talk to a school counselor or administrator, or ask a parent to.